This may be the hardest post we have ever made. On March 12, 2024 we lost my daddy. It was very sudden and unexpected. He was in great health despite his 86 years (2 months and 8 days before his 87th birthday). He and mom had lunch, he went for his daily walk in the neighborhood, came in and did a little work in his office (yes, he was still working the company he built when we moved to GA over 40 years ago) and then as he came into the living room where mom was, he flopped into his chair and had a massive heart attack.
Unreal
He had been going to his regular check ups with his doctors and coming out with a clean bill of health every time. Took the meds he hated taking, but nonetheless took them every day. Walked every day. Moved a bit slower, but still sharp as a tack. Still drove he and mom everywhere they needed to go.
None of us can understand why he got taken from us now.
I can’t even express the emotions that are roiling through me since that day. My brain is numb and yet racing non stop. Everything I see, everything I hear…….reminds me of him. I am daddy’s little girl and I am lost. I can’t imagine how much more lost I would be right now if I didn’t having such a strong, tight knit family to surround me. We all hurt. We are all lost. But we have each other and that is one of many beautiful gifts that he left us.
If you knew daddy (and there are so many people who did) you know what a wonderful storyteller he was. He had a seemingly unending supply of experiences and antidotes that he would weave into the most interesting stories to either help someone through a time, or simply make them laugh.
He was a humble man, preferring the simple things, but damn did he clean up nice! In his younger days he looked just like James Dean and in his later years, Sean Connery (not in his James Bond years, but his League of Extraordinary Gentlemen years). Some of the gifts he bestowed upon me were his love of bluegrass music (mountain music), planting and tending to an organic garden and reading and writing poetry.
He told me sometime last year, after we had started doing Poetry Sunday, that he had a poem he had started many many years ago, and wanted to pull it out and finish it so he could submit it to our blog. When I was going through the lockbox looking for important documents we needed for the funeral home, I came across a folded page with lines of words typed on it. It was old. I showed it to mom and asked “what is this? who wrote this?” She replied “oh, I think that’s a poem your dad wrote a long time ago”
In that moment I realized…….this is the poem daddy was going to submit.
So daddy, this one’s for you. Thank you for the gifts you gave and continue to give. I love you and will miss you forever.
I like walking in the rain
It makes the air seem clean again
To breath the air so good and sweet
To walk through puddles in the street
I like the smell of new mown hay
It reminds me of another day
Of new turned earth, of spring in bloom
Of fresh cut flowers in a room
I like to hunt and roam the hill
A bird in flight gives me a thrill
And with a dog walk thru the glen
And wish I were a boy again
I sometimes like to sit and reminisce
To remember the joy of my first kiss
But most of all when I’m alone
I like to think of my old home
I like the beach, the surf, the sand
I like to walk and hold your hand
I like the warmth of your embrace
I like the nearness of your face
I like the sun, the sea, the sky
To watch the clouds go drifting by
this poem was never completed………….R.I.P. daddy
Rain, you captured your Dad perfectly. On one of our last phone calls, I said, “Jay, we’ve been on the phone for 1 hour and 45 minutes!” He said, “Well then, let’s go for 2 hours!” And we did! I have always had him in my life and still can’t believe he’s gone. He will be greatly missed and our Hickson HiJinxs will miss his posts and comments. 💔
Thank you Aunt Bonnie. I’m still in shock. I’d love to hear more stories about him 🕊️ 🤍
Dear Rain – I’m sure that saying “So Sorry” really doesn’t cover the gamut of feelings that you had and are still having, However, I am sure that what helped me get through the loss of my father was the last visit to Stone Mountain Lake that we did together and the last night that I saw him before he passed. While at Stone Mountain Lake, we sat in the car looking out at the lake and the geese and held hands…..no words were necessary and the memory stays with me to this day, 10 years later. The second memory was sitting by his bedside the night before he dies and watching him gaze beyond me with his bright blue eyes! I know he wasn’t looking at me and, to this day, I can’t decide whether he saw my mother (who had passed 4 months earlier) or he saw his mother, whom he loved dearly. It really doesn’t matter. What matters to me was that he looked very peaceful the last time I saw him and, while I knew that his time was coming, I didn’t know exactly when it would happen. As fate would have it, he waited until I left the next morning to feed my dogs, to make his final transition. I am sorry that I wasn’t there for the final moment but am so grateful that the memory I have of him was the extraordinary look of peace on his face. I hope for you that, with time, you will remember that his last day was happy, or so it sounds! My thoughts are with you as you navigate this very difficult loss.
Thank you so much GiGi. I have so many wonderful memories with him that carry me through every day. I wasn’t with him when he passed, but I was told that he had a smile and looked very much at peace. I am certain he went home and is surrounded by love.
I’m heartbroken for you – I lost my Dad in November of 2023 and I’m still not dealing with it well. My Dad and I had the best relationship – he used to call me and we’d speak with only a British accent (which we were NOT good at) – I’m trying to get to the stage where I can think of him without crying and just smile at all the fun we had.
BUT – enough about me – this is what I’ve learned so far (being 61 years of age) – we are SOOOOOOOO lucky to have Dad’s/Daddy’s who loved us – we are soooooooo lucky to be able to think of many, many, many times when we just laughed our asses off being with that person you loved so much. Do I feel lucky NOW – NOPE – and I bet you don’t either – but we’ll get there eventually – someone wrote on the card w/ flowers at my Dad’s funeral “your greatness as a Father and a man showed clearly in your daughter’s love for you. You rest easy now” – I really like that and it’s true. Just take each day slowly and try to breathe and maybe one day we’ll both stop screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO in our heads. I love ya and I’m so glad you have someone to go through this with – makes life soooo much better. Pam & Steve Gannon
Oh Pam, I’m so very sorry for your loss! I will miss my Daddy every day forever, but he left us with so much to be thankful for. He is everywhere I turn, in things I see and songs I hear. Thank you for you love! I’ll never be fine, but I will get through it with the love and support of family and friends.
Rain – so sorry about your Dad! What a wonderful sentiment. Hope you find comfort from your family and friends! He will forever be in your heart.
Thank you Christy! I know you know all too well about this rollercoaster ride! He is forever in my heart 🤍🕊️